


Fairy Tale (or The Adventures of Everyone Else)

by Not_You



Series: Dreamhouse [7]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Biting, Breast Fucking, Condoms, Couch Cuddles, Crush at First Sight, Dry Humping, F/M, Female Gaze, First Dates, First Kiss, Foreskin Play, Hand Jobs, Jane is a size queen, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Masturbation, Multi, Multiple Orgasms, Mutual Masturbation, Scratching, Size Difference, Size Kink, Sleepy Cuddles, Thor Is Not Stupid, Thor is a prince, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-16
Updated: 2014-03-10
Packaged: 2018-01-08 23:42:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 14,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1138848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not_You/pseuds/Not_You
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of Thor and Jane's love, and of other people's as they appear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is concurrent with and immediately after the last chapter of Dreamhouse. Presumably also with some of the standalone Clint/Phil, like Little Boy Lost. Dreamhouse has become a place for me to fill my own unfilled porn prompts so just look out, everybody.

The first day Jane visits the set of Mr. Coulson’s Technicolor Dreamhouse there’s a fine, cool mist in the air, and she blinks it off of her eyelashes as the door closes behind her, locking the weather away into another dimension. Tony has told her about this effect, the way the windowless set with its black-painted fixtures becomes its own world, with the various colorful puppets and the massive Fairytale Land backdrop all glowing under the lights. It reminds her of technical theatre courses, and she smiles, unwinding her scarf.

“Hey, Jane!” Tony grins at her, setting a box of spare parts aside. “Welcome to the People’s Republic of Puppetry.”

“It’s amazing,” She says, letting Tony take her jacket and hang it up. “You said you usually took a break about now, so I thought this might be a good time to stop by.”

“It is. The boss is lurking somewhere around, but you know Bruce, and this is Steve.” Steve approaches with a sweet smile of welcome. He’s a delicate little creature, but when she shakes his slender hand she can feel the strength in it. 

“Pleased to meet you, Steve.” 

He turns out to be the voice and the main puppeteer for Bill, and of course Darcy will never forgive her if she doesn’t get a snapshot and an autograph. Steve is shy about it, but also incredibly gracious, and Jane takes some shots of the puppets to make him feel less conspicuous and because they’re amazing. She’s about to ask Steve more about the technical aspects of Bill when Thor comes in from the workshop. Tony has described his colleague as ‘an enormous fuck-off Viking’ but Jane hadn’t realized how little hyperbole was involved. He’s a little intimidating as he comes rushing up, but he stops at a reasonable distance and beams at her, little wisps of hair escaping from his ponytail. 

Steve smiles. “Jane, this is Thor Odinson. Thor, this is Dr. Jane Foster.”

“Just Jane, please,” she says, extending her hand to Thor. He takes it gently, and before she has any idea what he’s doing, he rotates her knuckles upward and makes a graceful bow over her hand. Guys have kissed her hand before, and with most of them it’s creepy and damp. Thor just barely touches his lips to her skin, though, dry and soft and utterly chaste. She barely has time to register the silky-prickly feel of his short beard before he’s upright again, smiling at her and releasing her hand. That brief touch glows on her skin, and she hopes she’s not blushing.

“I’m very pleased to meet you, Jane,” he says.

“Uh, pleased to be here!” It’s all she can do not to wince, feeling about twelve years old. Thor just smiles, and then looks over her shoulder.

“Phil!”

She turns, and sure enough, there’s Phil and a guy who must be Clint (“an ass that won’t quit and lifetime tickets to the gun show,” thank you, Tony.) It’s kind of surreal to see Mr. Coulson in real life, and he smiles as he shakes her hand.

“It’s a bit weird, isn’t it?”

“Only a little. I’m mostly thinking of how much my niece Anna would love to be here.”

Phil smiles softly. “You’ll have to bring her sometime. Come on, I’ll give you the grand tour.” Jane follows him, and answers his polite questions about Anna as they walk.

There actually is a lot to see for such a small space, an elaborate network of catwalks and vents and scaffolding as well as the cozy green room where Phil makes them each a cup of cocoa before they move on to the labyrinthine majesty of the shop. It’s a fascinating place, and Jane gives in completely to her inner seven-year-old when she catches sight of Princess Tiye’s wardrobe. There are dozens of the tiny dresses, most of them doing double or triple duty for other princesses and fairies and whoever else needs to be fabulous, and all of them are beautiful. She fingers shimmering artificial silks and makes the light dance on hundreds of sequins before remembering to be embarrassed. She drops the fabric and risks a quick glance at Phil, but he just looks amused.

“They’re great, aren’t they? Natasha and I do most of the sewing. She should be arriving at any minute.”

“Right, Tony mentioned her."

They finish up in Phil’s office, where there’s a whole hidden stash of Dreamhouse toys in what reminds her of one of the old metal supply cabinets at her elementary school. She wasn’t fishing for anything when she mentioned Anna, but Phil gives her a plush Fuzzy for the kid. She doesn’t even remember mentioning that Fuzzy was Anna’s favorite of the puppets, and is still trying to work out how Phil knew as he leads her back to where she started, near the side door where she’s out of the way but can watch everyone work. After thanking Phil again, she watches him go to greet an absolutely beautiful woman with red hair, who moves onto the set with such assurance that she must be Natasha. Phil brings her over and introduces them, but after that indulging the visitor is over, because they do have to make an episode here. For a while she just examines Fuzzy, admiring his bendable legs, soft synthetic fur, and big, scratch-resistant eyes. Anna is going to love this, and she smiles at the thought. Feeling someone near her, she looks up and sees Thor, who beams at her, open and guileless and beautiful.

“Phil is a generous man.”

“Seems like it,” Jane says, and Thor grins at her, heading back to the shop as the lights dim and Phil helps Natasha and Steve manipulate the various puppets needed to tell ‘The White Cat.’ Jane watches in utter fascination.


	2. Chapter 2

Jane isn’t going to start working on any of the spots she’ll be doing until next week, but she stays so long that she’s still there when Thor finishes his project for the day. He comes out of the woodshop again just as she’s wondering if the expense of a cab back to Tony’s is worth avoiding the aggravation of dealing with the bus schedule again. Thor smiles at the sight of her, and gestures for her to follow him out the door and off-set, where they can speak.

“I’m done for the day, since the next thing I’m supposed to do is rebuild that backdrop they’re using. May I offer you a lift anywhere?”

"Thank you, that would be very helpful."

“You’re staying with Tony, right?” He leads the way out to the parking lot, smiling up at the afternoon sun. 

Jane does her best not to stare as it suffuses him with a golden glow, gilding his hair. “Yeah. We’re old lab buddies and I have some time off.”

"Ah. Astrophysics, right?”

“Right.” Jane follows him out to an old white pickup. It’s small and covered in minor dents and dings, with two bumper stickers flanking the license plate. One is simply the silhouette of a stylized goat, and the other one has a rainbow background with STRAIGHT BUT NOT NARROW on it in black block letters. Jane smiles, and blinks in mild surprise as Thor goes around and unlocks the shotgun door first, handing her in as if this is a carriage and not a scratched and dented truck. The seat is high and comfortable, and the cab is much cleaner than average (or Jane’s long-suffering research van.) When Thor gets into the driver’s side his body heat and his very presence seem to fill the tiny space, and Jane is surprised when he starts the engine and it purrs, obviously kept in perfect condition whatever the truck’s body looks like.

"She's old, but I keep her in good shape," Thor says with a smile, carefully backing up and pulling out of the parking lot.

“I can tell. It makes me feel bad for my poor van.”

“Oh?” He listens as Jane tells him about her ancient van and all the rocks she has driven it over in her time, plunging into the middle of nowhere for readings. Thor is touchingly concerned about her getting stranded, and only relaxes again after she has described the full list of survival gear that she keeps in the van for the day it finally gives up the ghost. By this point they’re halfway to Tony’s apartment and idling at a red light. Jane pauses for breath, and then feels herself go beet red as her stomach growls, loud and long. Thor laughs, but it’s a kind laugh. “There’s a good diner on the next block, if you don’t have other lunch plans.”

“Only to raid Tony’s fridge for sandwich fixings when I got back.”

Thor smiles, and pulls ahead as the light changes. “Let me buy you lunch. A little Dreamhouse hospitality.”

Jane can’t even tell if he’s hitting on her or not, but he waits so expectantly and looks so happy at the prospect that she agrees. Thor’s smile is brighter than a desert sunrise, and he parks at the next opportunity. How he manages to get around to open Jane’s door for her without having to run, she has no idea, but there he is. “Uh, thanks,” Jane says, and Thor just grins at her, shutting it behind her and getting the building door, waving her inside with a small gesture that’s weirdly courtly. She wonders if he’s making fun of her, but his smile is so sweet and his eyes so innocent that if he is, he deserves an Academy Award for the performance. 

Seeing the ‘Please Seat Yourself’ sign, Jane looks around and finds a corner booth, leading the way over and sliding onto the green plastic seat as Thor takes the other side. Almost instantly a waitress brings water and menus, dropping them off as she makes another round of the floor. The place is quiet and dim, made restful by the off hour and the deep shadows. Afternoon light spills across their table under the partially raised blinds, making the menus easy to read and making Thor glow again. There’s this enormous and ferocious aliveness to him, and Jane is trying to ignore how much she likes that. After all, she has only just met this guy. Liking him at this point is stupid, even if he is just her type.

Thor tells her what the soup of the day is and what the special will be with the knowledge of a regular, and Jane skims the menu to find old standbys like bacon cheeseburgers and all-day breakfast, as well as some surprisingly ambitious salads. Once she has ordered one of these and listened in slight alarm to Thor’s requested platter of animal fat, she sits and sips her diet soda as he regales her with stories from the set. He has a good sense of how to tell a story, as if there’s some kind of speech training in his past, or a very least a long history of holding court at parties. Jane is doing her best not to cackle at a tale of Tony Versus Children when the food arrives, and as they eat she asks Thor about the faint accent she can detect in his perfect English.

He laughs. “Just when I thought I was passing.”

“It’s only a little one,” Jane assures him, “and I have no idea what kind.”

“I moved here from Asgard about a year ago, but we use a lot of English at home.” Jane can’t help perking up like a dog at the mention of a walk, because Agsard is the single best region in the world for viewing the aurora borealis. Thor smiles at her. “And yes, the lights are amazing.”

Jane blushes, feeling ridiculous. “I wanted to study there when I was young, but there weren’t enough spaces in the program.”

“Unfortunate,” Thor says, very sympathetic for a man devouring sausage.

“Well, I went to Alaska instead and that worked out pretty well, but I have always regretted Asgard.”


	3. Chapter 3

Thor tells Jane all about Asgard, with plenty of breaks to hear about the desert where Jane is currently living. The impulse to ask Thor whether he’s married or gay bubbles up from her subconscious, and it’s all she can do not to giggle. She doesn’t usually like men right off like this, but there’s something so endearing about Thor. So transparent, too. He really does seem like a case of what you see being what you get. Which is a ridiculous thing to think this early on, but she still can’t help it.

He looks a little sad when he mentions first arriving, and Jane guesses that something happened around then that he doesn’t want to talk about. It’s the first sign of any withholding, and she doesn’t have much time to wonder about it before she’s dazzled by another smile and distracted by hearing about Thor’s first American apartment and its pest problems.

"I was able to borrow Taiga, though, so it was fine.”

“Taiga?”

“My friend SIf’s cat. She took care of my problem.”

“I’ll bet.”

“Seriously. She’s adorable. The cat, I mean. Though Sif is, too.”

“Oh, that kind of friend?” Jane does not sound disappointed. The effort may rupture her spleen, but she will not sound disappointed.

Thor chuckles. “Not that kind of friend. I grew up with her. She is very beautiful, but it would not feel right.”

“I see.” Jane tries not to perk up too much, and can feel herself blushing at her failure. Thor just beams at her. 

“Sif is back in Asgard now, anyway. My arrival overlapped with the last of her student visa.”

“Where are you living now?”

“I didn’t stay in the rattrap for long. I got a place with Clint. I’m still technically living with him, even if he spends all his time at Phil’s these days.”

“Tony mentioned that they were together.” Tony had specifically mentioned that they appeared to worship each other, and from what little she’s seen, it’s true.

Thor smiles. “Indeed. I’m happy for them.” And she can tell he really is, sweet and shining and without even a cautionary dash of homophobia.

“I love that no one on-set seems to care.”

“It’s a welcoming place. That’s why the show is so good.” He grins. “I’m just the carpenter, I’m allowed to say so.”

“The show is amazing. I didn’t watch it in the old days, but my niece loves it. So does my intern.”

“I didn’t know anything about it until I actually got involved, but I hear it comes on at three a.m. in Asgard, badly dubbed into Aesir.”

This idea so entrances Jane that Thor promises to find some online and show her later, and it’s only after he drops her off at Tony’s apartment that she wonders if it counts as anything like a date or not. She’s tempted to call Darcy and ask, but it’s embarrassing to consult someone younger and Darcy would just squeal and tease, and Jane isn’t sure which is more irritating. Instead she thinks about how to best translate her specialty into kid-friendly terms, and is just working out how to get the gist of solar wind across when she hears the door open. She pokes her head out of the guest bedroom to see Bruce making his way in with a few grocery bags.

“Hey, Jane,” he says, toeing off his shoes. “Tony’s on his way up.”

She smiles, taking the bags. Bruce is still sort of new to her, so much more recently a part of her life than Tony or even Pepper, but she’s sure she likes him. At first she hadn’t been sure the delicate balance of TonyandPepper could withstand the introduction of another person’s issues, particularly ones as profound as Bruce’s, but it seems to be working. Not that she really knows what Bruce’s deal is, just that it’s some heavy shit, and that if Tony says so, it really must be.

"Planning something special?” She asks, peering into the bags as she carries them to the kitchen.

“Pepper loves my mushroom soup, and she’s been working too hard.”

“Is it Hungarian-flavor, with sour cream and paprika?”

“Yep.” He turns back from following her to kiss Tony as he comes through the door, taking a last bag from him and carrying it to the kitchen as Tony works his way out of his shoes. They have pale carpet, and take it very seriously.

“Awesome. Hey, Tony!” Jane calls, putting away the things she’s sure of. “Drink?”

“You know it, Dr. Foster. I leave the advanced chemistry in your capable hands,” Tony says, and comes over to grab Bruce and kiss him again, much more thoroughly this time. Tony has never had any shame, and Jane mixes them each a scotch and soda, Tony’s much stronger because he’s a boozehound. She doesn’t bother to ask Bruce, because he doesn’t drink. Ever. He has sparkling grape juice with the kids at weddings and New Year’s parties, and Jane is pretty sure there’s some horrible shit she’ll never know about behind that. At least he doesn’t seem to mind when Tony partakes, and even kisses his boozy mouth after going to the fridge for one of his gross-ass coconut water drinks. Jane chuckles, and leads the way out to the living room, curling up on one end of the couch as Tony and Bruce make themselves comfortable on the other.

“So, how was work?” She coos, and they laugh.

“It was one of those weird days where most of the electronics work,” Bruce says. “And we ordered in a giant lunch, so I hope you’ve eaten.”

She shrugs. “Thor bought me lunch.”

“Oh?” Tony says, managing to make one syllable incredibly suggestive.

Jane can feel her face turning pink. “Yes, he did. He came out of the shop when I was leaving and offered me a lift.” Tony cackles, and she punches him in the arm that isn’t holding his drink. “Tony!”

“Sorry, I can’t help it. It’s a condition.” Bruce rolls his eyes, but smiles when Tony presses another little kiss to his chin. “Seriously, if you’re wondering, he probably _is_ hitting on you. Subtle, Thor ain’t.”

Jane tries not to smile too widely, and turns the conversation from Thor’s many charms (and it’s sweet that Tony thinks so well of the guy, Tony is kind of hard to get to) to the spots she’s going to do, and the problems of translation.


	4. Chapter 4

“Nah, see, I think the whole heliosphere thing is easy to explain, just not that relevant.” Tony is on the floor now, with his feet in Bruce’s lap, stocking toes gently prodding his belly. Bruce is still sipping his vile nutjuice, unperturbed.

“Point,” Jane says, crossing ‘heliosphere’ off her list of possible terms and topics. “I was of course going to talk about the aurora, because it’s interesting and a great excuse for pretty pictures, and that means at least explaining solar wind and the magnetosphere.”

"Somehow I think you shouldn’t go into thermal acceleration,” Bruce murmurs, and Tony pokes him again.

“Why not? It’s not that hard to explain.”

“Maybe not to the twelve and over crowd, but that’s not what we’re dealing with here.” Jane pauses. “Well, okay, college kids, but it’s not _for_ them. Has there been a bit about the sun and other stars? He must have done that before.”

“Probably,” Tony says, “but I bet it’s been years.”

“And a little repetition never hurt anyone,” Bruce adds, gently rubbing Tony’s feet.

Jane underlines ‘stars,’ and sits pondering for a moment, tapping the pencil’s eraser against her lip. “Do you think I could do black holes, or is that too scary?”

"I think it’s all in how you present it,” Bruce says, “but you should probably ask Phil about that one.”

"Maybe." She underlines 'black holes' and adds a question mark. Bruce is about to say something else when they hear Pepper opening the door. Tony perks up like a dog when its master comes home, and Bruce smiles a slow, sweet smile, releasing Tony’s feet so he can leap up and go greet her. Tony follows, and Jane hangs back to let them get all their kissing done before she waves and carries Pepper’s purse off to the bedroom for her while Bruce arranges her on the couch to give her a proper foot rub to help her recover from her high heels, not the desultory thing he was doing with Tony. Pepper looks amazing, of course, but Jane can tell she’s tired. Tony is already fixing a gin and tonic when Jane comes back into the room. It’s Pepper’s favored poison after a hard day, and Jane smiles at her.

“Tired?”

“Exhausted, but the world is now a safer place for children and for Stark Industries shareholders alike.” She purrs as Bruce kneads her arches, and stretches her arms. “What about you guys?”

“We were just helping Jane narrow down her possible topics.”

“We were just debating whether or not black holes are too alarming,” Jane says, settling into an armchair as Tony emerges from the kitchen.

"It's so lovely to have a harem,” Pepper says, flexing her toes in Bruce’s grasp. Tony kneels on the floor beside the couch and offers her the drink, which she takes with one graceful hand.

“Thank you, mistress,” Tony coos, probably only about half kidding. There’s a perfect twist of lime nestled within the ice cubes, the glass misted with frost from being pre-chilled. There’s love in that drink, and it touches Jane’s heart to see it. Pepper chuckles, sipping it carefully. “Tony,” she says at last, “you are the best bartender.”

Pepper offers her own contributions to the renewed discussion of Jane’s options, and once her feet are feeling better, Bruce quietly vanishes into the kitchen to start slicing mushrooms.

They have a lovely family dinner, and it’s enough to make a person lonely, watching the three of them at close quarters. When Tony had mentioned, off-hand and in an email about something else, that he and Pepper were taking on a third party, Jane had been dubious. She had asked him if he wasn’t sure he was just getting bored again, and had been startled by the depth of his anger. He had avoided her calls for a full week and a half. For Tony to actually _stop_ talking out of pique had been almost unprecedented in their acquaintance. Now, watching Bruce’s quiet gratification as Tony and Pepper both gush (deservedly) about his excellent cooking, Jane feels a strange pain in her chest that nothing to do with her own single status and everything to do with how completely her friends have enfolded Bruce. When she had first met him she had wanted to hug him herself, with those big sad eyes and sweet, diffident manner. And then he had revealed himself as the twisted and evil troll he is, and she had known that he would fit right in.

After dinner they pile onto the couch to watch a movie, Bruce gently insisting on Pepper putting aside her phone and actually being present for it. After all, Tony is only suffering through ‘Persuasion’ for her. Pepper laughs, and kisses Tony’s cheek as he grimaces at the sight of Regency clothing and horse-drawn carriages.

“Thank you for suffering through this, Tony.”

“You’re welcome, baby. At least your chick flicks are quality.”

Jane snorts, comfortably snugged into the opposite corner from the one where Bruce is acting as Pepper’s backrest. “Don’t worry, Pepper. I’ll watch ‘Pretty Woman’ with you.”

“It’s all right, I’ve gotten my viewing out of the way for this two-year period.”

Jane stares. “…Y’know, I do watch that piece of shit about once every two years.”

"Uncanny, isn’t it?” Pepper says, shifting her shoulders a little to get more comfortable on Bruce. Jane misses having that physical ease with a man, and leans on Tony as the movie goes on. He’s pleasant to touch and comfortably off-limits, even if he’s not really her type.


	5. Chapter 5

On set three days later, Jane has to admit that this is getting kind of bad. Thor greets her the same way he did before, and she can feel herself blushing. “Uh, hi!” It comes out too high-pitched and makes her sound about twelve years old, but Thor doesn’t seem to care.

“Hi.” He beams at her, still holding her hand. “I’ve found those dubs, if you’re still interested.”  
She just blinks at him for a moment, and then remembers. “I am! Thanks, I mean.”

Thor chuckles and lets her go at last while she tries not to be disappointed. “I’m free on Monday.”

“I am too,” Jane says. “I think. I’m still not sure how we’re scheduling this.”

“We’re doing what we can when we can,” Phil says, appearing at her elbow in that spooky way of his. Once she gets her heart restarted and he apologizes for sneaking up on her, he leads her back to the office to discuss scripting. Writing for children’s television is apparently deeply complex and fraught with difficulty, which isn’t much of a surprise. Nor is Phil’s wholehearted dedication to his craft. It’s always nice to see someone who really loves their work, as well as someone who cares about children as people in their own right. He blushes when she tells him that and stammers for about a minute and a half before regaining his composure. It’s adorable.

“Seriously, Phil. I’m proud to work with you.”

He’s still pink, but just smiles at her. “Likewise, Jane. Now, do you have some topics in mind?” She shows him the list, and while he doesn’t say black holes are too scary, he does say that they need to be presented very carefully and definitely shouldn’t be the first. “I saw a program on supernovas when I was just six or so, and when they got to the part about the sun going nova like any other star, they forgot to mention just what a long time five billion years or so actually is. It was awful. I was afraid to even look at the sun, because I didn’t want to see the moment it went out.”

“Ugh.” Jane shudders.

Phil smiles. “So I believe in being very careful.”

Scientific spots usually consist of the guest elucidating the subject for Bill’s edification. Bill is a very curious character, and usually asks the right questions. “It’s partially how I wrote him, and partially how Steve acts him,” Phil says. “Sometimes Fuzzy is the curious one, but Steve acts him, too, so I guess it only makes sense.”

Jane soon gets used to both puppets, and all their myriad changes of expression. It does take her a while to stop cracking up, though. Little Steve looks so earnest, and acts along with the puppets so much. He’s distractingly beautiful as well as funny, with his delicate hands and that angelic face. His focus is contagious, though, and after the first few attempts, she manages to keep her eyes on the puppets. She instinctively treats each one like a living creature, and Phil praises her performance, telling her that she has overcome the most major hurdle. She tries not to blush, and fails utterly when Clint tells her, during one of the breaks, “The camera loves you, doc.”

Jane can’t help but jump, having completely forgotten his presence. “Thank you. You startled me.”

Phil chuckles. “On his first day, I didn’t even know we had a new hire until he did the same thing to me. Though it wasn’t a compliment.”

“Hey,” Clint says, climbing down out of the catwalk by way of some scaffolding. “I was shy, okay?”

“I find that hard to believe,” Jane says, and Clint laughs, leading the way to the green room, where a vote is held as to what to order out for lunch. Steve is looking a bit pale and tired, so when he expresses a preference for something mild and filling, they call Bucky because the hole-in-the-wall comfort food place doesn’t deliver.

During the wait Steve explains Bucky’s various odd jobs and seasonal gigs. The most constant of these is his work as an all-purpose driver, specializing in transporting the personnel and paraphernalia of businesses and organizations without their own vans. It lets him set his own hours, and do things like bring homestyle baked macaroni and cheese to his poor starving boyfriend. Jane hasn’t actually heard much about Bucky. Tony just says that he’s a good guy and that he and Steve make a cute couple.

About half an hour later, the man himself arrives, bearing cardboard boxes of food and an itemized receipt. Clint and Thor help him set the banquet out, and Jane digs through her stash of small bills, helping to break twenties and make change. Bucky pushes the whole concern into Bruce’s hands after a moment, and sweeps Steve into his arms. It’s beautiful, and if someone just put a wig on Steve they could be a movie poster from the forties.

Jane quietly shares this image with Thor as they eat, and he laughs and almost chokes on his ham. “He does do drag,” Thor murmurs, after a swig of Coke and a moment to catch his breath. “He’s very good, too.”

Once Steve is settled with his mac and cheese, leaning on Bucky in a way that’s heartbreakingly sweet, Thor gently draws him out on the subject of drag, and of his persona in particular.

“Angelique is a real lady,” Steve says, “delicate but strong, like my mother.” He goes a bit pink after this, and devours a large mouthful of noodles to cover it.

“She most certainly is!” Thor says, and cuts a generous bite of ham, passing it to Steve. Bucky gives him a sharp look over Steve’s head, and Thor just smiles.


	6. Chapter 6

Later, when all the cartons and paper plates and plastic forks and foil have been thrown out, Jane asks Thor what that moment with Bucky was all about.

Thor smiles. “Bucky gets a little jealous, sometimes.”

“But you’re straight, right?” She blushes as she says it, and Thor’s smile widens.

“I do things with boys sometimes, but only ones I particularly like, and in a friendly way.”

“So… heteroflexible?”

He laughs, looking delighted. “Yes, that is a good word for it.”

Jane immediately wonders about him and Clint, but instead of asking, she accepts his invitation to accompany him home to watch those Asgardian episodes of the show.

As a woman in the mostly male-nerd-dominated hard sciences, Jane is delighted to find that the apartment Thor and Clint share is not very gross at all. It’s a nice, comfortable sort of place with more clutter than filth. Thor brings his laptop from his bedroom and hooks it up to the TV. It’s an old CRT big screen, presumably abandoned by someone in favor of a plasma. She has to help him with the cables and with finding the right program for the files, but unlike way too many guys, he doesn’t look betrayed when a girl turns out to be better at tech. Instead he bounces up to get nibbles and drinks when he sees that Jane has the situation well in hand, and she reflects on what a good wife he would be, giggling to herself as she sets up the playlist.

By the time Jane is done, Thor returns with Asgardian mead and some kind of fish roe with cream cheese and crackers, and gets them settled comfortably on the couch. Jane has tried mead before without liking it much, but this stuff is sweet and sharp and delicious, and the fish roe turns out to be mild, not briny at all. Once Thor is sure the refreshment suits his guest, he cues up the first of several episodes.

“We don’t have to watch all of these, of course,” Thor says as the opening plays. Jane nods, and then bursts out laughing as Phil speaks, dubbed voice ludicrously deep.

“Who the hell is that, James Earl Jones’s Asgardian cousin?”

“Perhaps, I’ve never asked,” Thor says, grinning.

Phil is far from the only drastic change. Fuzzy’s new voice is squeaky, Bill is now a girl, and Senator Octopus sounds like an old, grandmotherly lady. Jane wonders if there’s such a thing as octopus menopause or not, given that Senator Octopus has recently laid eggs. Princess Tiye sounds like she’s voiced by a teenage boy, and there are bonus Asgardian commercials included. Bizarre cartoon animals of unidentifiable species shill what look like tubes of toothpaste to strange and tinkly music. Thor assures her that the creatures are a bear, a dog, and a horse, and that the tubes actually contain creamed and smoked fish roe.

“It has added sugar,” he tells her, and laughs at the way Jane wrinkles her nose. “It’s a bit like natto. Only locals can stand it.”

“So this is the stuff you offer foreigners?” She asks, holding up a laden cracker.

Thor grins. “Yes, always.”

They do wind up watching all the episodes, and Jane gets a bit tipsy, the mead far stronger than it tastes. By the eighth show she has her feet pulled up onto the couch, and by the eleventh has dozed off, leaning on Thor. He’s so comfortable, so huge and warm and cozy. Jane has always had a weakness for enormous men, loving that feeling of being so easily enveloped and protected in their arms. She snuggles in against Thor unconsciously, and wakes up cuddled in close to his chest. She blushes, and glances up to see him smiling down at her.

“Good morning,” he says, suffused with that touchable glow of his.

“I’m so sorry, why didn’t you wake me?”

“Because I was enjoying napping with you.” He strokes her hair with one big hand, and she blushes worse than ever.

“…Oh.”

He kisses her, then. Just leans in and presses his lips to hers. It’s firm and chaste, and he cradles her head in his hands. Jane gasps a little, and then melts into it, following him when he tries to pull away and licking her way into his mouth. She doesn’t want to be pushy, but she just has to taste him. It takes everything she has not to climb into his lap, especially when he makes a deep, happy rumbling noise and sucks on her tongue. She coos and tangles her hands in Thor’s hair, ruining his short ponytail and making him shiver. He grins when they finally part, his eyes sparkling. “I’m glad I was right.”

“About?”

“About you wanting to be kissed.”

Jane blushes again but grins back, pulling away at the sound of a key in the door.

“Hey, Thor!” Clint calls, “You seen my copy of _Akira_ anywhere? Turns out Phil has never seen it.” He comes into the living room and smiles. “Oh, hi, Jane. Didn’t expect you here.”

“We were watching the Aesir dubs of the show,” Thor explains, and Clint laughs. They show him the oddity, of course, and he cackles for the duration of one whole episode before tearing himself away to search for _Akira_ , slinging cushions and laundry around. He gains his object at last, the missing film appearing out from under a pile of clothes and lighting gels. In the same moment Jane’s phone rings. 

It’s Tony, asking after his honored guest. She tells him where she is and accepts a cab back to his place so she won’t miss out on Bruce’s quinoa salad.


	7. Chapter 7

Thor stands on the corner with Jane, looking like an ad for the faded jeans that are hugging his ass in a way that Jane feels like a bit of a pig for noticing so much. It’s the kind of sunny, breezy day where waiting outside for something is actually pleasant. By the time the cab arrives, Jane has agreed to a movie and proper dinner with Thor that weekend, and by the time she gets back to Tony’s, she doesn’t even remember which movie. 

Pepper laughs at her when she admits at much. Pepper is in full after-work mode, disheveled and beautiful on the pristine and white childfree couch, endless legs loosely crossed at the ankle. She and Tony both drink less now that Bruce is part of them. Jane isn’t sure why and hasn’t asked, but the first cocktail remains an institution. Today it’s gin and tonic, with a perfect twist of lime lovingly sheared off by Tony. Jane doesn’t even like gin, but it’s crisp and cooling enough that she has one of her own.

“Somehow,” Pepper says, the ice shifting and chinking in her glass, “I don’t think the choice of film matters much.”

Jane blushes, feeling ridiculous. “Still, I feel like a teenager for not even _remembering_.”

“Hey, everyone needs to get stupid periodically,” Tony says, emerging from the kitchen. “Especially astrophysicists.” He settles next to Pepper, arranging her legs over his lap. “Besides, Thor is some prime real estate to get stupid with.”

“Oh?” Jane and Pepper ask at the same time and in the same tone. All three of them laugh, and Tony grins as he explicates Thor’s numerous charms for them. He’s still going when Bruce comes in.

“…His family is loaded even if his little brother is crazy, he’s kind to animals and children, he can fix things, and I hear he’s got a big dick.”

Bruce sputters and laughs, having arrived just in time to catch that last. “Jesus, Tony, you are such a whore.”

“And you love me for it. Want any help putting dinner on the table, or are you going it alone again?”

“You can come and get the plates if you want to feel useful.”

“I love being a helper!” Tony chirps, and leaps up to set the table.

Bruce’s quinoa salad is amazing, carefully dressed in olive oil and a proprietary spice blend inherited from his mother, with the freshest available vegetables chopped obsessively small. Along with a convenient loaf of banana bread and some stir-fried tofu, it’s one of Bruce’s typical vegetarian meals. Jane is glad she likes this kind of thing, since ‘Tony’s turn to cook’ is basically a euphemism for getting something delivered, and Pepper’s turn comes but seldom, since she works the longest hours.

Afterward Pepper looks through her closet for something to loan Jane, since Jane hasn’t packed with dates in mind. She’s so much taller and thinner than Jane that Jane can’t help but fret a little. At last Pepper finds a nice dress in a shade of grey-blue that anyone can pull off, and it clings to the right places on Jane rather than the wrong ones. On Pepper it’s a revealing little thing, too scanty for professional use, but on Jane it hits just above the knee, and with two tiny safety pins carefully applied to the shoulder straps, it’s solidly in ‘cute’ territory.

“You. Are. _Adorable_ ,” Pepper tells her, and Tony whistles and applauds when his opinion is solicited. Bruce just smiles and says that Jane looks very pretty, his trolling tendencies restrained by the brevity of their acquaintance. He also seems a little preoccupied, and Jane hopes his mental health isn’t bothering him. She doesn’t have much time to worry as the week goes on, though, so busy working on her bits with Phil that she can’t even do much more than wave to Thor as he goes by. 

Thor is just as occupied, due to the Republic’s sudden need for a new coral reef, but always smiles at her. When Jane calls him to be sure they’re still on, he sounds delighted to hear from her. He assures her that he’ll have his project done by Saturday, and is as good as his word. He pulls up to Tony’s building at the appointed time. It turns out that the movie is going to be some kind of fantasy-adventure thing, and while Jane has always been more of a sci-fi girl, she definitely doesn’t mind. She’s also pleased to find him insistent on paying. Not because he’s the man, but because of the old-fashioned courtesy of assuming that the person who made the invitation will get everything.

In this case “everything” is the best Italian dinner Jane has had in far too long, both tickets, a massive bucket of popcorn, and the peach slush Jane can’t quite resist, having not ordered dessert. She also steals a lot of the popcorn, and Thor is happy to let her.

Watching a movie with Thor is a bit like watching one with a child. He gives the unfolding drama what would be his full attention if he wasn’t sometimes glancing over at Jane and letting her lean on him. He cries when the hero’s faithful horse dies, and Jane is _fascinated_. She has seen men cry at movies, but it’s her father insisting that his allergies are acting up during _E.T._ , and her high school boyfriend rushing off to ‘get this thing out of my eye’ when Littlefoot’s mom dies in _Land Before Time_. Thor cries the way Jane does when she turns off everything, brain included, to watch _Moulin Rouge_ by herself. He keeps his eyes locked on the screen, big tears rolling down his cheeks as his lower lip trembles. It’s adorable, and Jane holds his hand, misty-eyed herself.

Afterward, Thor cleans himself up, and they both agree that the love interest should have known that her stepfather was up to no good and that the court scene should have been trimmed no matter how fabulous the costumes were.


	8. Chapter 8

Jane doesn’t sleep with men on the first date. It’s a firmly-held policy and even Thor won’t make her break it. It’s a near thing, though, and she’s glad to be a guest in someone’s house to give her a reason. Not an excuse, Thor is goddamn _enchanting_. Jane has never felt this wanted with so little pressure. They hang all over each other outside the door like a pair of teenagers, but at last Jane creeps in and watches from the window as he drives off. Her hosts are presumably asleep, and she tiptoes to her room, making sure the door is firmly closed before turning on the light. She takes Pepper’s dress off carefully, and drapes it over a chair, coming back to remove the safety pins after she gets her makeup off and brushes her hair.

That done, she can’t quite resist texting Darcy: _just got in from 1st date with thor <333_

What she isn’t expecting is for the reply to be immediate: _zomg tell me everything_

Jane sighs, and calls her intern. “Got a minute, Darcy?”

“I have like, so many minutes to hear about this hot Viking you’re hooking up with.”

“We’re dating like real grown-ups, Darcy.”

“You totally wanted to sleep with him and didn’t ‘cause it isn’t done, didn’t you? You’re such a lady sometimes.”

“I’m also staying with Tony, and he hasn’t kept me awake with Pepper and Bruce, so fair’s fair.”

“Yeah, but it’s probably because of soundproofing or something, you know Tony’s a whore. In the best way. He’s kind of my role model.”

“Never tell him that, he has enough of an ego already.”

“Anyway, what did you wear? I know you didn’t pack anything decent.”

“Pepper loaned me a dress. On her it’s slutty and classy at the same time, so on me it’s cute.”

“Jane, if you get on the insecurity train, I’m gonna have to kick you off like a mean railroad employee with a hobo.”

Jane smiles. “Thank you, Darcy. Anyway, Thor picked me up, and paid for dinner and the movie tickets. It was that fantasy thing, _Sea Stone_ , or whatever.”

“I’ve heard that’s good. The protagonist is a girl who gets to kill things and know how to cook at the same time, right?”

“Right. Bring tissues, there are some pretty sad bits.”

“Aw, did you cry?”

“Thor cried more than I did.”

“Jesus, that is so cute I may die. He’s like, two hundred and fifty pounds of beef, right?”

“I’m too polite to ask a gentleman what he weighs, Darcy. But yes. He’s straight, in touch with his emotions, intelligent, kind, funny, tall, good-looking, built, and apparently completely unattached. I’m waiting for the bodies to start turning up.”

“Look, just because a certain individual we shall not name here had no fucking clue how to treat a woman…”

“This isn’t about Don, Darcy.”

“What _ever_. You’re all sincere and stuff. When you get hung up, you get hung up. I hope Thor can unhook you or something.” Darcy giggles. “At least your bra, anyway.”

“Second base has yet to come up, but thanks.”

“God, you are so restrained! Promise that if you _do_ sleep with him you’ll just attack him like a wild animal, okay?”

Jane laughs, and promises before she hangs up. The whole conversation and the date before it have left her with a bit of a problem, as guys so often put it. She shivers, and a tentative touch tells her just how wet she is. She curses herself for having left all her toys at home, but it had felt kind of creepy to pack them. Even her favorite, the kind of embarrassing one that’s hot pink and actually a bit bigger around than her wrist. Now she sighs, knowing that she can’t do this here. She’s not going to be able to resist at least trying to fuck herself properly, and nice as this apartment is, it doesn’t actually have a guest bath. She wraps her bathrobe around herself and tiptoes out into the hallway, flushed and warm and loose.

Jane is only as voyeuristic as any other human being, but a cracked door with light beyond in an otherwise completely dark and silent house is almost impossible to resist. It’s Tony’s bedroom door, and she just glances over at she creeps by, too curious not to. What she sees makes her insides twist in lust and sudden longing. It’s hot because Tony and Bruce are kissing like they’ll never get another chance, Pepper watching them with a lazy and possessive smile that Jane is embarrassed to have seen, but more than that there’s this near-visible glow of love and trust around them that makes her feel completely alone. 

Jane doesn’t stay, because that would be on purpose and would turn this whole thing into something really awful, but the image sticks in her mind. When she has the bathroom door locked behind her and is settled on the closed toilet with enough paper to deal with the overflowing slick, she wonders how Thor and Clint would look locked in a clinch like that, and bites her lip to stifle a whimper, pushing three fingers into herself because she doesn’t have time to screw around. She strokes and presses as hard as she can, frustrated by her inability to get a good angle and wanting something a lot broader and a lot longer. Still, she manages to shake and gasp her way through three orgasms, and feels a lot better when she goes creeping back to bed. Tony’s door is properly closed now, and the light from underneath it is dimmer. Jane smiles, and tiptoes past.


	9. Chapter 9

Over breakfast Tony demands all the same details Darcy did the night before, and Jane just rolls her eyes and tells him that nothing pornographic happened, so there.

“Seriously, Tony, a lady doesn’t bandy a gentleman’s name,” Bruce adds, stealing a piece of Tony’s toast.

“You see that?” Tony appeals to the universe in general. “Bastard steals the food right off my plate. You’re lucky you’re so pretty, Banner.”

“We’re all lucky Bruce is so pretty,” Pepper says, and takes Bruce’s free hand to press a kiss to the knuckles. He actually blushes a little, and Tony grins.

“Pepper will always out-troll you, boo.”

“She gives me something to strive for,” Bruce says, and settles down to eating Tony’s toast.

Jane giggles, spreading blackberry jam on her own half-slice. There’s plenty of fresh fruit, and perfectly soft-boiled eggs, Pepper’s last-minute contribution when she had come wandering out, bare-faced and bedheaded and still looking like a million bucks in her spotless white bathrobe. Jane of course just has on her holey old blue thing over polka dot pajama bottoms, but Tony and Bruce look equally scrubby, so the general tone is one she can support.

“You’re going to the set today, right?” Pepper asks.

“Yeah, we have to get a little bit more footage in the can before Phil can edit my spot together.” 

Bruce and Tony both have the day off, since pretty much everything they’re filming today is either a human or a simple machine, and more importantly, _Pepper_ has the day off. Jane leaves them to their alone time with a light heart, and spends the morning doing the brief lecture portions of the first spot, which is just the basics of the aurora and how it works. She also does a few takes of her little introduction to the aurora footage Phil got, and even draws some diagrams on an actual chalkboard.

Jane also helps raise and lower some set pieces, and runs out to the cheap sandwich shop three blocks down to procure lunch for everyone. She also makes coffee and cleans the green room, because someone ought to. Clint grins when he comes wandering in at the end of day.

“Aw, we’ve always wanted a house mom. It looks great in here.” He pours himself some of the coffee and raises his mug to her in a toast before taking a sip.

“Aren’t I a bit young to have grown children?”

“You’re just timelessly lovely.”

“Clint, are you flirting with the guest again?” Natasha asks, making a beeline for the coffee.

“Maaaaybe. Come on, I’m a harmless homo.”

“Homo yes,” Jane says, “harmless, no.”

“I hear you’ve just gotten everything you need canned.” Natasha says, filling her cup to the very top. "Congratulations. Field trip?”

Jane blinks, and Clint translates for his friend. “She means that she’s glad you have all your footage, and is asking if you would like to come to the Midnight Mile with us. It’s a gay bar, but straight people are fine as long as they don’t gawk.”

“Is it a place with like, nearly-naked drag queens in silver sequins spinning upside-down? Because I don’t think I could restrain myself.”

Clint laughs. “No, it’s fairly low key.”

“You might see a beautiful boy in leather pants throwing himself around one of the cages, but nothing more spectacular,” Natasha assures her.

“I think I can deal with that much fabulousness,” Jane says, and gets directions and a time to meet up. Tony elects to tag along, and they arrive in style in his fey little sports car. Tony has assured Jane that the Mile is casual, so she wanders in wearing jeans and her Aperture Science t-shirt, only to actually run into Thor. His face lights up, and he raises his hands to keep the drinks in them from splashing her.

“There you are!”

“Uh, yeah,” Jane says, still tingling from rebounding off of all that muscle.

“We started without you, but everyone is still sober. Come on.” He leads Jane and Tony to a table in the back, where Clint and Natasha are holding spots for them. Jane isn’t generally much of a drinker, but first she has one to be sociable, and as she sips it an intimidating platinum blonde sidles up to them. She and Natasha share a look that’s somewhere between seriously hot and totally acrimonious, and Jane’s not even gay but that would be some _beautiful_ hatesex, wow.

“I think it would be mutually beneficial if I kissed you,” the blonde says, cool voice tinted with some eastern European accent.

Jane chokes a bit. “Y-you do?”

“It would presumably serve to titillate your… companion,” she says, eyeing Thor with sultry distaste, which makes him bristle, “and I would get to kiss you. Don’t straight girls like attention?”

“You know,” Jane says, “I wouldn’t take this off a man, so I’m not going to take it off you. Blow.” She really wishes Darcy were here to see the perfection of her dismissive hand gesture. She isn’t expecting the woman to laugh, but it’s a delighted laugh, and she buys them all another round. So of course Jane has this second drink, accepting it as the peace offering it is. The woman’s name turns out to be Silver, and she’s here on one of her periodic breaks from running most of her father’s corporation. 

Silver eventually wanders away again, and Natasha and Clint shake their heads. “Giiiirrrrrrrlll,” Clint murmurs, and Jane giggles helplessly.

“Silver is out of her goddamn mind,” Natasha says, rolling her eyes and knocking back most of her drink.

“Yes. She’s the one who made Natasha decide to pursue stable women who can work with others. You know, nurses, ex-military, that kind of thing.”


	10. Chapter 10

By the end of the night, Jane is much drunker than she ever intended to be, but she doesn’t mind too much. She danced with Natasha to blend in and for the fun of it, dragged Thor into a dark corner by one of the exits to kiss him so no one had to see straight action and get grossed out, learned a few of Clint’s wild and furious moves, and all in all considers the evening a success. She says as much to Tony, upon whom she is leaning, and he agrees, weaving a little as well. Thor beams down at both of them, his giant jacket wrapped around them both in the unexpected chill of this particular summer night. Clint has long since fully sobered up and driven home, and Natasha apparently went home with the bartender. Jane hopes it works out. Or remains nicely uncomplicated if it’s just sex. Or that it’s a lovely platonic slumber party.

“Hey, Tony?”

“Yyyeeees?”

“Are Natasha and Maria a thing?”

“I’m pretty sure they’re a thing but that they both have a thing about feeling things.”

“Oh. That’s rough.”

“I think it’ll work out.”

“Yes,” Thor says, pulling Tony’s keys out of his pocket. “Come along.”

“Quek.” Tony mutters, doing a slight duck walk as they follow Thor. “Quek quek quek. Quekquek.” Jane snorts and giggles much more than this warrants, and Thor is just sweetly patient with them, getting them across the parking lot and into the back of the car where they lean on each other and laugh at nothing. They’re most of the way back to Tony’s when his phone rings. He pulls it out and looks a little more sober instantly. “Pepper? What’s up? …Oh. … _Oh._ Crap, now I feel bad. Figure we should..? Yeah, okay. Love you both.” He hangs up and sighs. “Hey Thor?”

“Yes?”

“Bruce is having a bad night and I won’t help if I go home before I sober up. Figure you could dump us at a Motel 6 or something?”

“My place is closer and cheaper,” Thor offers, and Tony grins.

“That’ll work, too.”

Clint is of course over at Phil’s again, so Thor makes up his bed with clean sheets for Jane and arranges a comfortable little nest on the couch for Tony. He also herds them into the kitchen and makes them each drink three big glasses of water so they won’t be hungover tomorrow. 

Tony grins at him. “You’re such a good mom, Thor.”

Thor laughs. “I try. And I apprenticed with my mother, who is very good at her job.”

Jane smiles, and guzzles her water quickly because she’s tired. She isn’t too tired to kiss Thor goodnight when he walks her to Clint’s door, though, and lingers over it for a long while, arms twined around his neck. He shivers and makes a deep, quiet rumbling noise that makes Jane whimper and press closer. Thor lifts her slightly off her feet, holding her tightly. They kiss for what feels like a lifetime, and Jane groans embarrassingly loudly when Thor palms one breast, gently squeezing as Jane’s hard nipple presses into his palm. He pulls away a second later, though, regretfully setting her down.

“We should do more of this when you’re sober,” he says, and Jane has to kiss him again just for being so decent. She wants to fuck Thor sober and wants to fuck him now, but she’s willing to wait and tells him so, making him beam and kiss her again before finally breaking away for good and all, wishing her a pleasant night.

Clint’s bed is small and comfortable, and Jane curls up in a little nest of blankets and drops off into a dream about numbers and stars. She wakes up with an equation for the brightness of an alien sun still tripping through her mind, but forgets it by the time she’s brushing her teeth with Clint’s toothpaste on her forefinger. She washes her hands and her face and really looks almost presentable by the time she wanders out into the kitchen where Thor is humming what sounds like ‘Mamma Mia’ as he slides a cookie sheet into the oven. It’s quite domestic and very cute, save for the fact that he’s wearing nothing but a towel, hair loose and damp around his face. That essentially turns it into porn, and Jane just stands there and stares. Thor straightens up and sees her, beaming.

“Jane! I hope you’re well this morning.”

“I am. I feel a bit _strange_ , but that’s not the same as hungover.”

Thor nods. “I know this feeling, and I find that a good breakfast helps.”

And Jane really should just insist on some Special K or one egg and fruit, but today she doesn’t have the strength. First she’s distracted by Thor’s hotness and adorability, and then Tony comes wandering out and they start arguing over the best way to make cinnamon toast and before she knows it, Jane has eaten two slices of the toast, three pieces of bacon, and a perfectly fried egg. She feels stuffed, but not uncomfortable, and scurries away to fold the blankets while Thor washes the dishes and Tony dries them, this stretched and full feeling reminding her of other things. She wonders if Tony heard right, and then if it’s possible to blush oneself to death.

“Thor?” She calls when she has the situation under control, her arms full of Tony’s blankets. “Where do these go?”

“My room, I’ll show you.” Thor leads her back, still wearing that damned towel. She wonders if she can make it fall off with nothing but raw will. “I have the bigger closet, so I keep the extra linens and blankets.” He takes the blankets from her and puts them on top of the neat stack, pulling out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.

“I’ll let you get dressed,” Jane says, turning for the door and stopping at the gentle grip of Thor’s hand on her arm. He pulls her back to kiss her before gently pushing her to the door again with a sweet smile.


	11. Chapter 11

Jane has the day to herself, and lurks around Tony’s apartment, reading and writing and trying not to think about Thor, because if she thinks about him, she will go right down to the studio and attack him in the workshop to hell with whoever might be watching. As it is, she leaves him a message to call her when he gets off work, and tries not to be too twitchy until he does, and she snatches up her phone.

“Thor?”

“Jane! Good afternoon.”

“I… I was thinking I could take you to dinner, if you wanted.”

“I do want. When and where?”

Jane has to scramble a bit, but Thor doesn’t seem to mind soup and sandwiches at a little place Tony showed her the last time she visited him. He meets her there, pulling her into a massive hug and a short, publically acceptable kiss. Jane’s heart hammers and her face flushes, and Thor doesn’t look so much smug as radiant as he leads her to the booth he has already staked out.

They sit close and Jane doesn’t even remember what they order after they’re done with it. It takes hardly any negotiation for them to end up driving back to Thor’s apartment together. They run into Clint, but he’s just picking up some clothes and gives them a thumbs-up and an encouraging leer on his way out. Thor rolls his eyes, and they do actually make popcorn and sit down in front of _Dark City_ because they’ve both seen it. Jane is actually captivated by the first few shots of the eternal night, but then Thor has an arm around her, and it’s easy to lean on him, and then to kiss him and crawl into his lap, and by the time Murdoch is watching the Strangers at work, the popcorn bowl is on the floor and Jane is grinding slow and hard against Thor, too far gone to worry about what it looks like, just needing to feel him against her and frustrated by his jeans and her own. 

Thor groans and kisses her deeply, barely able to tear himself away long enough to pull her shirt off with a clumsy haste that makes her moan and press herself against his chest, shivering as Thor reaches around to unhook her bra, this touch more controlled. Jane sits up straight and slides it off, crying out softly and hugging Thor’s head as he nuzzles between her breasts. His beard prickles and tickles, and just when her nipples are so hard they ache, Thor cups her breasts in his hands and sucks each tip in turn. He’s making that rumbling noise again, like a bear or a big cat, some huge and powerful animal. Jane whines and grips him with her thighs.

“Bedroom?” She gasps.

“Yes.” He kisses her again, and then scoops her into his arms, standing and carrying her down the hall as she wonders if this is what swooning feels like. Jane clings to him, loosening her grip just enough for him to stretch her out on the bed. She keeps her hands on his shoulders just to feel him, and only lets go so he can pull his own shirt off and fling it aside before getting to work on her pants. Jane curses her vanity as she struggles out of them, but the struggle seems longer than it is. Soon she’s down to the little pink panties that she absolutely chose on purpose, and she smiles up at Thor.

“What about you?”

He blushes a little. “I… I prefer to go slowly.”

“But it must be cramped in there,” Jane says innocently, cupping Thor’s trapped cock with one hand and shivering at the size of it. He bites his lip and pushes into her touch, all his massive weight held on his trembling arms.

“God, _Jane_ …”

She stretches up and kisses him again. “I want to see you.” Thor rolls off and struggles with his zipper for a moment before shoving his jeans and his boxers down, letting out a groan of relief as his cock springs free. Jane stares, because she always stares at natural wonders. “Holy shit, Thor.”

“We’re not going to do anything you don’t want to,” Thor assures her, mistaking her awe for fear.

“Then we’re going to be doing a lot,” she murmurs, wrapping a hand around him and having to just close her eyes and take a moment when her fingertips don’t meet. Her hands are small, but holy god, this is the biggest cock she has ever seen. Soft as silk, too, with a generous foreskin over a wide head. Jane has never been with an uncut guy before, and tests the slide of it in fascination, shifting the soft skin back and forth. Glancing up at Thor’s face, she sees him beaming down at her, and she smiles back.

“Do you approve?”

“Very much.” She presses a kiss to his chest before straddling him and carefully rubbing her clit against the head of his cock for a long and wonderful moment before pulling back. She hooks her thumbs into her waistband, and pauses. “Condoms?”

Thor snaps out of the slight stupor she seems to have put him in. “Of course. One moment.” He gets up and goes to the closet. On the one hand, the way he has to dig seems kind of tragic, but Jane is also glad that they’re on an equal footing, that Thor isn’t getting so much he has them immediately at hand. Then again, he could use them on dildos, and that is a glorious vision. She shivers and squeezes her breasts as she waits for him. A moment later he’s back, but he looks dubious.

“What’s wrong?”

“These expired a month ago. I mean, they’re _probably_ all right…”

“God, I wish the pill didn’t make me sick.”

“You still don’t know where I’ve been. And vice versa, though it’s not gentlemanly to say so.”

“Well, let’s open one up and see what happens. I believe in direct observation.”


	12. Chapter 12

For a moment it really seems like it will work. The condom is promisingly moist, but snaps when Thor has rolled it most of the way on. He sighs and pitches it aside, frowning at the date.

“Uh, best out of three?” Jane says, shrugging. 

Thor chuckles, and nods, opening another. This one survives application, and even two long, slow thrusts along Jane’s wet opening and up over her clit, each one making her gasp, high-pitched and loud. The latex gives on the third pass, though, and Thor lets out a heart-breaking groan of frustration before sitting back and peeling off the remains. He tries one more with a fatalistic look on his face, and it breaks as soon as he has it rolled down all the way. “Jane, I can’t…”

“Say no more.” She tugs him down and kisses him, reaching down to squeeze just behind the head of his cock, making him whine. “We’ll just have to use our hands.”

“Alas,” he says, looking like a sad puppy even as he pushes one thick finger into her. Thor’s hands are as huge as the rest of him, but it goes smoothly. Something a lot bigger would have, and Jane moans, clenching around it. “Good?” Thor murmurs, kissing her again.

“So good,” Jane breathes, and bites his neck as she rocks on his finger. “More.”

Thor shivers, and adds another, crooking them and probing around for just the right spot, covering Jane in kisses and watching her face in happy, open fascination. Once he has an idea of her reactions he’s playing her like a harp, keeping her so busy just responding that she can only manage a few strokes and squeezes for him, her free hand uselessly clutching at Thor’s shoulder.

“Let me take care of you,” he murmurs into her ear, and she gives up completely, just clinging to him and gasping occasional directions and helpful hints between deep, shuddering moans. He sighs and purrs, nuzzling her and letting out a quiet cry as she bites his chest to muffle herself as she comes.

“F-fuck, Thor…”

“More?” Unlike a lot of guys curious about the prospect of multiples, he isn’t pushy. He keeps his hand where it is, but lets her draw back a bit. 

“Yeah,” Jane wheezes, “I just need a minute.”

Thor chuckles, and kisses her neck. “Mm. Take as many as you like.” She clenches a little around his fingers, and he shivers happily. “I can’t wait to fuck you, Jane.” He shifts onto his side and takes her with him, sucking her nipple into his mouth again and making her shudder and moan. She wraps around him and feels a bit faint as she grinds against those stupidly perfect abs. Thor’s skin is so fucking smooth it makes her wish she could write poetry about it.

“Yeah?” Jane gasps, trying to keep up her end of the conversation.

“Yeah,” Thor murmurs into her tits, gripping her ass in those huge hands and helping her to rock against him. Soon Jane is ready for more, and slips down again, wishing she could just take Thor’s cock and damn the consequences.

“God, I want you to,” she whispers, pressing down onto his fingers instead and groaning deep in her chest. He’s more sure of himself now, a little rougher, and it’s exactly what Jane needs. She bites her lip to keep back a loud groan, and grinds down on Thor’s hand, swiveling her hips to drag her clit over his thumb in the one certain way that makes her feel like she’s going to come every time, but she doesn’t and doesn’t until she’s writhing against Thor, knotting both hands in his hair and pressing her breasts to his chest, rubbing her nipples on that smooth skin. High-pitched and desperate little noises fall from her mouth as she moves, and then Thor is thrusting hard and fast with his hand, like those fingers really are his cock and he’s finally too ready to come to be polite. Jane cries out and comes again, grabbing his wrist to hold him there when he starts to pull away again.

“Don’t need a minute,” Jane whimpers, “please…” She doesn’t have to find any more words or ask twice, and lets out something that’s almost a scream as Thor drives her up and over the edge again. She bucks and helplessly kicks one leg, making Thor chuckle delightedly as he keeps stroking her until she reaches down and pushes him away with shaking hands, body jolting and quivering with aftershocks. As soon as she has enough breath, she kisses Thor, squeezing the fingers still buried inside her. “It’s got to be your turn by now,” she breathes against his jawline as her heart starts to slow down.

“It is starting to hurt,” he admits, and Jane can’t help giggling.

“I’m not laughing at your pain, I swear. I love how patient you are.” She kisses Thor again, and pushes him onto his back, the better to use both hands. He lies there with his clean hand behind his head for comfort, lazily sucking on the other one and groaning softly as Jane rolls his foreskin over and over the deep red head of his cock, gripping tightly. He thrusts up into her hands, opening dilated eyes to watch her work. Jane shivers, and leans down to stroke the wide, throbbing length between her breasts, thumbs still caressing the head. Thor groans and gasps some sort of warning that may not actually be in English, and then he’s coming in hot spurts against her skin.


	13. Chapter 13

Jane had had her suspicions, and is grateful to see them borne out. Thor is a cuddler. He gives her a moment to wipe off (with his discarded shirt, and he doesn’t complain, either) and then pulls her into his arms, rumbling and nuzzling her hair. He holds her close for a long time, and Jane slips into a light doze, feeling utterly lax and warm and perfect.

The growling of Thor’s stomach wakes her up. She looks up into his flushed face and giggles. “Should we make something or order something? My treat, I suggested it.”

Thor pulls his pants back on, and Jane commandeers one of his clean t-shirts, baggy on him and a respectable shift dress on her. Their survey of the kitchen turns up a few dismal frozen things, bread, canned tuna, and condiments. “Clint cooks more than I do, and I’m about due to go shopping,” Thor says sheepishly, and Jane grins.

“Pizza, then? I shouldn’t eat it, but I want some.”

“You worry too much,” Thor says, hugging her again. “A few more pounds of you would be no bad thing, anyway.”

“You say so now,” Jane teases, “but just wait until there’s four hundred!”

“Four hundred pounds of loveliness,” Thor says, and kisses her forehead before letting go of her to dig through the pile of delivery menus. They settle on a large for each of them, on the grounds that Clint will wander in and eat anything either of them leave, and Jane powers through two slices of hers before slowing down and savoring the third as Thor continues to hoover up his own food. His manners are good even as he stuffs his face, and Jane smiles fondly.

Thor lets Jane have the first shower. She would have been willing to share, but the stall is tiny and slick enough that even if they had space to fool around, it would be asking for a fractured skull. She keeps it quick and businesslike, and Thor cleans up the popcorn while waiting for his turn, so that when Jane emerges both of them can wrap up in fluffy towels and cuddle on the couch with impunity as they finish _Dark City_. During the end credits Jane gets a call from Tony, and assures him that she’s fine and will be coming back soon. Thor looks a bit pathetic as she gets into her clothes, but does the same and drives her back to Tony’s. They linger in the cozy cab of the truck to kiss for an indulgently long time, but at last Thor walks her up to Tony’s apartment. 

He greets them at the door, and informs them in an undertone that Bruce is still feeling a bit fragile before leading them inside. Bruce is wrapped in a bathrobe and eating a popsicle, looking very fragile indeed. He gives them a meek nod, and Jane fights the urge to hug him. Instead she tells him about a recent chemistry paper that might interest him, as Tony mixes carbonated limeade for everyone. They settle around the kitchen table and the boys talk shop while Jane sips her drink and learns all about carpentry and animatronics.

After a reasonable interval, Jane walks Thor to the door for a goodnight kiss. Agreeing to meet up again is of course as easy as breathing, and it isn’t until after he leaves that she starts to fret about feelings and all that girly stuff. She ends up making a strengthening cocktail after all, but she takes it to the roof to drink it, watching the few bright stars she can see over the lights of the city. She thinks about calling Darcy or Tony, but in the end decides to go straight to the source and selects Thor’s number instead. She feels crazy and clingy as she listens to it ring, but he picks up after a moment.

“Hello, Jane.” She hear his smile, and relaxes a bit.

“I just started thinking too much, Thor. What are you up to?”

“…Buying condoms, if it’s that not too much honesty.”

Jane laughs. “I like you because you’re honest.” Her throat tightens up a little and every rational part of her wonders what in the hell is wrong with her as she blinks away the sudden stinging of incipient tears in her eyes. “I like you a lot, Thor.”

“That’s good, because I feel the same way about you, Jane.” His voice softens. “Like I’ll love you when I know you well enough.”

Jane’s heart flutters. “Good,” she whispers. “I should let you get back to your shopping,” she says, when she trusts her voice to sound normal again. “I don’t like the ribbed kind, but cooling and flavored types are okay.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Thor assures her, and bids her a fond farewell before hanging up. Jane does the same, sighing and feeling about fifteen years old.

“Are you up here mooning over Thor?” Tony asks as he wanders up.

“Maybe a little?”

“Come on, locker room time.” He comes over and gets right up in her space in a way that never fails to remind her of annoying toddler. “How far did you get?”

“Tony, you pig!” She shrieks, laughing and lightly smacking at him to make him step back.

“Seriously, though,” he says, standing beside her like a grownup and looking out over the city with her.

“Third base,” Jane admits.

“Seriously?”

“The condoms were old enough to be hazardous.”

Tony shakes his head. “You poor saps.”


	14. Chapter 14

In a perfect world, Jane wouldn’t have anything to do but roll around with Thor until her sabbatical ends, but as it is she has to help out on set and can some more footage while he hammers away in the workshop, making over one of the alternate sets for Fairytale Land. Three days go by before they can leave together, Jane doing her best not to blush as Thor helps her into the truck the same way he did the first time, and drives her back to what is more his apartment than ever at the rate Clint is going. He seems tentative and unsure, and it’s only after they arrive and Jane realizes that he has actually cooked for her that he’s worried about being too eager. That’s refreshing and cute, but she can’t let it get out of hand. She stops him in mid-explanation of the dish, some pork-based Aesir thing that smells delicious, just to give him the kind of long, deep, and encouraging kiss that he seems to need. He beams down at her and hugs her, one hand resting on her ass and just barely squeezing.

“After dinner, then?” Jane says softly, and he shivers.

“Yes.” He lets her go and serves them each some of the fragrant, shredded meat, the baked potatoes that Jane recognizes as the single easiest starch from her own pathetic efforts at home cooking, and salad, which so many guys forget about.

The food really is very good, and Jane wishes she could pay better attention to it, but she’s too busy feeling up Thor’s legs with her feet and just watching him be gorgeous. They make a few attempts at conversation, but the silence is at once so tense and so comfortable that there seems to be no way to break it. After pecking at their food a bit longer, she meets his eyes across the table, and they have one of those sudden telepathic moments, leaping up as one to cram everything into the fridge and adjourn to the bedroom. When they get there they look at each other again and burst out laughing. 

And then Thor picks Jane up, kicking the door shut behind him and carrying her to the bed, and she’s too turned on to laugh. She shivers and presses her face to his neck, biting and sucking until he sets her down on her back and she has to let go so he can unbutton her blouse. It’s hers, since wearing Pepper’s clothes at this point would feel really weird, and she wishes for her whole date wardrobe for a moment before Thor has her naked to the waist and fully distracted by his hands on her breasts. Jane has always been a bit self-conscious about them (and every other part of her body, it sometimes feels like) but right now she can’t care, because Thor is basically worshiping them. He sighs and moans like he’s the one being touched, and Jane whimpers and buries her fingers in his hair to guide him. He takes direction better than anyone she has ever slept with, and she shudders to think of what’s to come, now that they’re properly equipped. That thought makes her pause, and tug Thor up to speak to him. He makes an endearingly bereft little noise as her nipple pops out of his mouth, but gives her his full attention.

“You did get condoms, right?”

“Yes. Nice fresh ones.”

Jane laughs, and kisses him. “Good.”

They take their time, because no one is expecting either of them anywhere until tomorrow. Thor ranges over Jane, so solid and so heavy, but holding all of his own weight. She covers him in kisses and little mouse nips, arching up to slide her body against his to feel all that smoothness and strength. At last, after both of them are breathless and glutted with kisses, Thor opens the bedside drawer and pulls out a box of condoms, smooth and of an appropriate size. Jane takes over from there, opening one and rolling it onto him. She shivers at how long the process takes, and squeezes the broad base of Thor’s cock with one hand, making it twitch. He moans softly, and kisses her again as he ruts slowly along her, teasing her inner lips and stroking her clit. Jane whines, grinding up against him and digging her nails into his back, knees gripping his hips. 

“Damn it, Thor,” Jane finally gasps, and he sighs, going slower and harder, each pass putting more pressure on her slit and fanning her inner lips wider. She’s brimming up with slick, overflowing and making wet, sloppy sounds already, and keens as Thor lines up properly at last. She holds herself open with two fingers, whimpering and panting, sounds deepening to a loud groan as that wide head forces its way into her. She bears down on it and cries out as the first few inches slide in against her taut muscles. “Oh, fuck…” She breathes, clinging to Thor.

“Good?” He asks, trembling with the effort of holding still and letting her adjust.

“Y-yeah. You can totally move, Thor.”

He kisses her and starts to slowly rock his hips, fucking her with just the first few inches. The stretch is amazing and the head keeps grinding across her g-spot, but she wants more. Jane can feel herself slipping into that wild and hungry mode that has scared off a couple of guys in its time. She has the feeling Thor can take it, and bites his shoulder as she grinds down onto him. He moans and speeds up, but he’s still not giving her all of his cock, and that’s really starting to piss Jane off.


	15. Chapter 15

Thor is enormous and heavy, but he’s holding himself up and that makes it easier to get the right leverage to flip him over. He’s a nice cooperative victim, completing the motion that Jane begins and carrying her with him. Thor really is helpful and sweet, and when she has him on his back below her, she feels more forgiving. He looks up at her with those wide blue eyes and she leans down to kiss him before sitting back and sinking down. Jane doesn’t like having her cervix pounded, but a nudge is okay, and a long, slow, circling kiss against the head of a cock is a lot better than okay. She bites her lip and swivels her hips, reaching up to grope her own breasts until Thor reaches up to help.

“I d-didn’t want to hurt you,” Thor gasps, and Jane laughs, tightening as hard as she can and making him whimper.

“Don’t worry about that until I tell you to, Thor,” she says, leaning into his hands and grinding on him with a short, sharp back and forth for a long moment before shifting just a bit forward and popping the head into that space behind her cervix. It’s a deep place, where almost no one can reach without a toy or without going wrist-deep, but Thor is filling it. She groans and pushes down and down, stretching wide around the hot thickness of Thor’s cock, wanting to brand the shape of it into her body and crying out as she squeezes it tightly. Thor moans, thrusting up against the resistance, and Jane cries out, riding Thor as he starts to push up harder and faster. As she starts to melt into the feeling, he rolls them back over, staying deep inside her. Jane sobs and wraps around him, suddenly feeling like she’ll die if he doesn’t move. 

“Fuck me,” she gasps, rocking on him as best she can, clawing at his back without any regard for the state of his skin, “fuck me, fuck me…” She scales up into a loud, high-pitched cry as Thor follows directions as well as ever. It’s not enough at first, but as he realizes that he really isn’t hurting her, that she’s not gritting her teeth and getting by on resolve and the desire to please, that she keeps pushing down on him even when he bottoms out, he gives her his whole length, going harder and harder.

Finally, Jane can just hold on and forget everything. In quieter moments, she supposes that that’s part of why she’s such a size queen, that being overwhelmed like this lets her stop thinking. Now she moans as fast as she can draw breath as Thor pounds into her. He holds her close, protective and possessive at once, and he has one hand laced into her hair, keeping her head from contact with the wall as he speeds up, pulling almost all the way out to ram into her over and over again. Jane loves the feeling of being opened and filled over and over and wails with no regard for neighbors or inhibitions as she tightens up as hard as she can, eyes rolling back in her head as Thor forces his way past the resistance. He’s big enough to really roll along the underside of her clit, and she sobs, tossing her head as she feels herself getting closer and closer to coming with each powerful stroke.

Thor reaches down and rubs the tip of his thumb over Jane’s clit in fast little circles as he speeds up, fucking her like he wants to drive her through the mattress. He keeps it up as she comes, and then slows down, lower lip caught in his teeth, eyes dark and wild.

“It’s okay,” she gasps, “just leave my clit alone, you can keep moving.” As he does, she realizes that at this size he really _can’t_ leave it alone, but each stroke is giving her a little aftershock that’s far more pleasure than pain, and then even that melts away. She feels hot and soft inside, reshaped to fit Thor’s cock perfectly, and moans as he starts to pick up speed again. Soon he’s back up to their previous pace, and Jane whimpers, “Give it to me, give it to me…” in a thin, weak voice she doesn’t recognize, hands clutching at Thor’s ass to pull him even deeper. Her second orgasm takes her by surprise, shuddering up from deep inside her and making her shake and let out a loud and formless sound that she has never heard before. Thor groans and drives deep into her again, bucking and shaking. Jane feels him pulse as he comes, and whimpers quietly, squeezing Thor’s cock as it slowly softens. He rumbles and rolls onto his back. He’s still inside Jane, and she shivers as she rests her head on his chest. She dozes off for a few minutes, and wakes up when Thor slides out.

“But I wanna keep it,” she mumbles, and Thor laughs.

“You can borrow it again.” He kisses her deeply, and carefully disentangles himself and tucks Jane into the warm spot and gives her the pillow to hold while she keeps napping. When she truly wakes up, Thor has already showered and reheated dinner for both of them. When Jane cleans up and joins Thor, he greets her with a kiss and a beaming smile, and that gives her the courage to ask where they stand. The relief when they agree that this is serious, and that they want to at least try to manage something over the distance between here and New Mexico is overpowering.

One of the many cool things about being an adult, is that when Jane decides she wants to stay over with her boyfriend for the rest of her time here, no one can actually tell her not to. Tony is of course full of lascivious encouragement, and Clint just laughs and says it’ll be a better use of the space. Darcy is of course supportive of Jane’s ‘unbridled sex feast,’ and while Jane is less than enamored of this description, she does her best to live up to it.

Saying goodbye is of course awful. Tony insists on hosting a going-away party, but he has the decency to do it two nights before her departure, so she can spend the last night tangled up Thor, who drives her to the airport and holds her for a long time before letting her go so she can get into the security line.

“Just remember,” she says softly, standing on tiptoe to give him a last kiss, “I’m coming back for Christmas.”


End file.
